Who is greater

A dispute also arose among them (the disciples), as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. And he (Jesus) said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. For who is greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.

I kept thinking that if I was impressive enough, people would want to be like me and serve God. That they just didn’t want to be like me cause I was dorky, but that if I learned to be just like God wanted me to be, I’d be cool and Sauvé. But I found this only seemed to be a mask for my pride. I found myself thinking that if I got buff or drove a cool car I would make others want to serve God. This morning when I read this verse though, I cried as I realized Jesus wasn’t showing off his cool carpentry skills, He didn’t impress the crowd with magic tricks. I realized that it’s not my place to change the way people think about me, I need to serve Him, serving others, being humble. This again forces me to put my security in Him and not me. Even writing this I get frustrated. I’m typically proud of my writing ability. I want to make this sound like a cool testimony, with short stories and cool syntax. Again, I can’t do that, not than God doesn’t let us ever show off, or that the desire for recognition is wrong, but it needs to be in an appropriate category on our priority list, towards the bottom. My usability to God isn’t based on my influence or worldly appeal, but in my humility and submission to Him.